Blind Spot

In this traffic, called LIFE, everyone has a blind spot. For some people the blind spot is huge and for some it's very narrow. No matter how much caution you take as a traveler to be aware of your blind spots, you can't have control on a fellow traveler's blind spot. That's why "accidents" in life happen. The good part is that these "accidents" are not fatal and "LIFE" moves on. It has too, because when these "accidents" are fatal, you know that you have successfully completed the journey called "LIFE".

I was way cautious and given my past history, I kept watching for my blind spots all the time and tried avoiding others' blind spots. But the dimensions of vision of LIFE is infinite and we as mortals, can never grasp this infinity and should not try to do so. In this road called "LIFE", there will be these hidden "blind spots" which we will miss unless and until we stumble across them. By default of life, we will have accidents. And as like any other accidents, they will be a part of our life and we just have to adjust to them.

Am I scared of the darkness?

Whomever I talk to these days, keep consoling me by saying "whatever has happened, it happened for best", "the worst had already happened, now only better things can happen to you", "there is always a ray of light in front of this dark tunnel" and other things like that. In some other life, I would have loved and felt comforted to hear such things. I would have loved to believe in the HOPE.

But now, I don't want any hope anymore. I don't want this dark tunnel to end so that I can see the light. I know too well now that "light" will be short-lived followed by another extremely long dark tunnel. I am getting comfortable in this darkness now. I know now, that life is nothing but a journey through long dark tunnels intermittent with short spans of sunlight and the ultimate tunnel will have no end. When the end is all darkness and emptiness, then why do I need to have those short spans of sunlight anymore? Isn't it better to embrace this darkness forever now and make it my home? Isn't it better to prepare myself for the ultimate journey which I have to make alone without any ray of hope?

To sir, with love.

I'm going to dedicate this one to my Boss, Gary. And with time, this entry will be modified as it consist of all the witty conversations I have had with him till now.
While I was doing a rotation in my lab, almost an year ago from now, suddenly Gary comes to our desk and told my lab-mate Yaqiang that he has got some xyz GB external hard drive. Yaqiang says, "Awesome now you can store some of your data in their". Gary replies, "Ohh no no...I'm going to store some of my pornography in their". I hear it as photography. And trying to be smart I ask him "Ohh...so you've a hobby for photography". Gary pauses and looks at me for a few seconds and replies back "Ohh mohona, just forget it !!" Afterward I realized from the way Yaqiang laughed and the way Gary replied back that to me, that I had heard the wrong word.
One day when I was supposed to show him some data, but failed to do so, he scolds me by saying..."you know what mohona....you'll need 10 yrs to complete your PhD. And by that time, I'll be dead, you'll be in jail for killing me and there will be no one left to rescue you." I didn't know whether I should have laughed or cried after this.
Lastly, one day Gary asks me "Have you read the indian newspaper today?" I said "I guess so". Gary says, "Do you know what am I referring to?" I ask, "About the bombings in Kashmir?" He says, "Oh no, about the indian minister who resigns at the age of 86". I googled it and found some minister resigning at the age of 86 for being involved in a sex scandal with some 3 women at the same time. Gary exclaims, "If I've to resign for something ever, it should be for some reason like this. At the age of 86 and that also with 3 women! Indians should be proud of themselves" :P

Well there are many more and will keep you all updated about his conversations.

I have always found the roads (and any open area as such) in the USA to be claustrophobic. Soon I realised that I miss the fields with horizon lying ahead. But then I thought why do I miss the horizon so much as I really love greenery and dense forests. Trust me, the roads of this country is overly flourished with those. Missing the horizon shouldn't really make me feel so claustrophobic. But today, while walking through the corrider towards my seventh floor lab, I understood why I feel this way.

I just want to stand in front of a limitless field, with the horizon ahead of me and saying me, "Run towards me. Just behind me, lies your beloved (and sometime hated) country with all your people in there."

So I miss the horizon giving me the reassurance that I haven't lost everything yet. They are just round the corner.